Month: December 2016

People around me are saying good riddance to 2016, and, while a large part of me wants to agree- 2016 brought us our second child Breelyn Elizabeth.  And, while ultimately, she was lost to us- the important part is that she did live.  So, while there are parts of 2016 that I wish had never happened- her birth wasn’t one of those. Our family’s hopes for the future (dare I say resolution) is to live in the moment.  We’ll be striving to put down the smart phones, have real conversations, more hugs, and more silly toddler games.

We’re also committed to searching for a cure for SIDS.  We’ll be walking in May on The Walk for SIDS and Child Loss.  Consider joining or supporting team Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade as we walk to raise awareness and funds to cure SIDS.

https://cf.umaryland.edu/checkout/som/infant-child-loss-walk/

Christmas is coming… which means that baby Jesus is everywhere… My toddler is thrilled to see baby Jesus (or any baby for that matter) but continues to say things like “our baby died- her name was Breelyn.” It breaks my heart and has shocked more than one bystander. But, it is so healthy. It’s healthy that a three year old can understand that her sister has died, that it is ok to be sad, and that she’s still very loved.

I haven’t yet figured out the best way to explain my pain, I’m not always eloquent, I struggle. And that is ok- a very sad horrible thing happened. BUT- I’m reminded that happiness is a choice. Every day- I do my best to be thankful for the blessings that I have in my life- even if they seem small. Heat/AC, grocery stores, a loving family, etc. This holiday season, while it will have struggles, it will have its blessings too and I’ll do my very best to be thankful.

I admit that I dreaded Thanksgiving a bit.  I suspected that it would be hard to focus on things to be thankful for… And yes, some days, its very very difficult.  Our daughter died and it’s sad.  Counseling, hugs, and chocolate can’t change that.  But other days, it’s easy to know that we’re still blessed.  And today was one of those days.  Today Dave, Brooklyn, and I got to go to a local grade school to meet a class of seventh graders who are making squares for BBB.  They are working so hard and what they are doing will truly make a difference. Thank you Beltsville Adventist School!