Summer Porter

WGTS 91.9 hometown hero

Thank you WGTS 91.9 for giving me the opportunity to talk about Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade! Together, we can make a difference to some hurting families.

Hometown Heroes: Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade

By: RobC

Summer Porter will never the moment she arrived at the hospital after receiving the worst news a mom could ever get. Her 4 month-old baby, Breelyn, had fallen asleep at the daycare and didn’t wake up. When she was given Breelyn, she was covered in two blankets made by volunteers. She says it really stood out because, as she puts it, “it meant that somebody had put the time and energy into it; that somebody was able to take care of my kid when I couldn’t.” Summer and her husband, David Burke, would later learn that Breelyn had died from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Photo credit: Allison Shelley/AP Photos for Visitor Magazine

It was that attention to detail that inspired Summer to learn how to crochet so she could make blankets for other families who had lost children. But it wasn’t until she saw her 7 year-old niece crocheting a square that it occurred to her that there could be others interested in helping make blankets, which was the impetus for Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade.

Initially, it started out with 40 friends on Facebook who helped make 5″ x 5″ squares that would be constructed into blankets to be given to families at Washington Adventist Hospital in Takoma Park. But the group grew to more than 480 people with people in other states like Arizona, California, Hawaii, Texas, and more joining in the effort.

The project has now grown to include classrooms at local schools, where kids are learning to crochet to help add to the blankets.

We love how she has been able to turn a terrible tragedy into something that will comfort other families on their worst days. It’s why we chose Summer Porter as this week’s Hometown Hero!

Send squares to Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade Attn: Summer Porter, P.O. Box 744 College Park, MD 20741

To read Summer’s full story check out this article in Visitor Magazine

170512_SummerPorter-HometownHeroes

Listen to the podcast here:

http://wgts.org/podcast-wgts-919-mornings-podcast/hometown-heroes-breelyns-blanket-brigade

Numbers

Oh those dreaded numbers…

New job- how many dependents do you have? I write down two, no wait, scratch that out- one.

2016 taxes- how many dependents do you have? I answer one, no wait, make that two.

At a recent physical exam, how many pregnancies have you had? I answer two, no wait, three. We had a pregnancy of twins in December 2016 that ended in January when there were no heartbeats.

And also at the physical, I learned that my weight currently slightly exceeds that of when I delivered Breelyn a year ago.

My numbers have changed and it makes me sad. I want to be raising two live children with two more on the way. And as long as we’re dreaming, having my weight not be a constant battle would be nice too. And so I long for heaven. For the day when I will have all of my children with me, when we won’t have worries like weight, jobs, and healthcare costs. For the day when there won’t be sickness or death. For the day when all will be well and we’ll be home.

Work worship

I work for a religious organization. They start their day off with a voluntary worship. It’s a nice way to start the day and I usually try to attend.

In the last month three things have resonated with me in regards to this organizational worship…

In the car I realized that I hadn’t put mascara on. Not the end of the world but I was a little ticked off. I sat down to worship and in it, the speaker sang the song “Press On” by Selah. I’ve written about this song previously http://wp.me/p83gmr-U it basically says that when you are dealing with the very worst, in Jesus’ name, we press on. It’s been my sort of theme song during the loss of Breelyn. I let myself cry a lot during this song. So there I was, fighting back the sobs, while my tears fell, when suddenly I had to smile. God had my back. I’d forgotten to wear mascara so it wasn’t immediately evident to the whole world that I’d been crying. It was a little delightful to think of God helping me to forget my mascara so that I wouldn’t look like a raccoon all day.
A speaker delivered a message and at the end, someone on the platform mentioned his family and that he had four sons. The speaker paused for a bit and said yes- I have four living sons. As a parent who has lost a child, I struggle with how to relay my family make up. Breelyn lived and I don’t want to just ignore that. I loved the “four living sons” because that implied that there might be others who hadn’t lived. The statement helped me feel not alone.
Today! Oh today. The speaker talked about how he’d experienced true love during the eventful birth of his son. He built up the agony of waiting for his child to take a first breath. He talked of how he started to bargain with God- how he’d give up his life if only his son would live. And there I sat, this time barely keeping it together. My child hadn’t lived. I don’t have a revelation on this one yet. It’s honestly just too fresh. I’m thrilled for those that live. I love that people can experience truest love when they become parents. And yes, I think that I now understand just a bit about the crushing agony that God must have gone through to give up His son Jesus to die for us. And I’m forever deeply grateful for God’s sacrifice. But, today, I just want to feel bad that my child didn’t live. I’m glad that the speaker’s baby lived but I’m going to continue to be sad that my didn’t.

So dear world, corporate worship is good for me however, I think that I’ll start sitting on the aisle so that I have a clear line to escape if needed. Thanks for letting me vent just a bit. This is hard stuff and I always hope that maybe in the future, someone who’s experienced a loss will stumble across something that I’ve written, and they’ll realize that it’s ok to be sad, angry, etc. And it’s ok to be angry at God- He can take it and He’s going to keep loving you and me- just like I’ll keep loving Breelyn Elizabeth- forever.

Strangers

The world is full of so many people. A brief few are your relatives and friends. Some are acquaintances or co-workers. Some are faces that you nod to but don’t really know. You may wish well to all but you are only really invested in your core… until you experience grief.

Suddenly you realize that the greater world experiences grief too. You find yourself one of many. You aren’t alone. Everyone out there will experience a loss. Their grief may not be the same as yours and that is ok.

In that last couple of weeks, two stranger/grief things happened to me…

I have a wonderful friend who has a wonderful friend. My friend told her friend about the loss of Breelyn and Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade. This complete stranger to me, made me the most beautiful prayer shawl. I was speechless in receiving it. This stranger spent hours of her time making something for me- something that would remind me that I wasn’t alone.

I ran into a person that I’d gone to college with. We’d never really gotten along and I was apprehensive when I bumped into them. As we talked, I learned that their mother had recently passed away and that their child was having a hard time with it. I hadn’t seen this person in 15+ years, we weren’t friends, but I quickly ordered them a book that my three year old has liked on death (Honey Bear Died). We’re both parents with hurting children and I have to do what I can to help- to remind this person that they aren’t alone.

We’re living in a hurting world. And we can do something. Share a hug, a smile, a letter, a handshake. Send a card, a book, a photo, a check. Make a blanket, a meal, a date. Just do something. You aren’t alone. Make someone’s day a bit better. You have the power to help- just do it.

First Live Gathering of Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade

Last night was the first live gathering for Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade. My church had agreed to sponsor the event. The gig had been featured in the church bulletin and I’d promoted it on facebook. My excitement and nervousness grew.

A friend stopped me in the hall at church and mentioned that she was going to bring her young daughter to the event. I was so impressed that this young girl (I’m guessing 2-3^rd grade) wanted to be a part of our project BUT it set me into a panic… What if I had ten young kids show up to be taught? How would I handle that? And so, I called in my ringers. I enlisted every person that I knew who knew how to crochet. I wanted to be prepared! Spoiler alert- only one kid and maybe 4-5 newbies attended.

I organized squares, bought hooks, and wound yarn. I wanted all the pieces ready (can you tell that I like control?). And lastly, I was nervous about prayer. Public prayer has always been difficult for me. I know that God doesn’t need me to be eloquent but the world does. And so, while I know that God loves it anytime that I talk to Him, I worried. Spoiler- it was no big deal. Losing Breelyn has resulted in a great desire for me to be candid and authentic. So no eloquence needed- I think that I said something like “Dear God, Thank you for giving us the skills and interest to help make someone’s really awful day just a bit better. Thank you for giving us this time to be together. And thank you for this food.” Done- and bother, why did I waste time worrying about talking to someone who gets me (God)? I really shouldn’t be worrying about what others think… And yes, I did tear up just a bit- how could you not?

So the day arrived… I decided to stop by my PO Box on the way to church just incase someone had sent any squares. And indeed, someone had! I opened an envelope to find so many beautiful squares in oh so many colors and patterns. What a great way to start the day! My neighbor carpooled with me and we met my parents there. We set up tables and chairs and laid out bottles of water and name tags. And people started arriving. Over thirty people came!! The group was made up of strangers, friends, neighbors, church members, co-workers, and family. Some were Christian, some atheist. Some women, some men. Some kids. There were some newbies and some experts. Some knitters, some who crocheted. Some parents with toddlers (child care provided). And all with a willingness to attack the task at hand. Granny squares were produced. Inches of blankets turned out. And two blankets were created.

This picture of the patchwork blanket really symbolizes Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade for me. This blanket is made up of squares made by different people. People who very likely don’t know each other nor will they know the family who will receives this blanket. Every square is different. Every square relays care, concern, and love. This blanket and others came about because women, men, teenagers, and children shared their talent, time, and care. The moments that these men and women put into these blankets matter. If the blanket can help a mum or a dad feel just a little bit less alone, that their baby was loved, that they are loved- then we are successful.

Thank you everyone for your diligent work. I had a blast and I can’t wait until next time!!

First Donation- Thank you ABC7 for covering it

Thanks Cheryl Conner for covering our first donation. We really appreciate the respect that you gave to the event. Thank you.

http://wjla.com/news/local/breelyns-blanket-brigade-donates-blankets-to-er-for-babies-who-pass-away

TAKOMA PARK, Md. (ABC7) — Handmade blankets are given to the emergency room staff at Washington Adventist Hospital. They will be used for one final comfort for infants and small children who passed away.

“We can’t pretend this has a happy ending, and so I love that people are able to be okay with that,” said Summer Porter, the creator of Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade.

Porter and her husband turned their healing into helping others by creating Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade.

“She went down for a nap and just didn’t wake up from a nap,” said Porter.

Breelyn would have turned one on Sunday. Instead of cake, her family and complete strangers built up the blanket supply and then came back to the hospital to thank the doctors, nurses and paramedics who tried to revive her.

“One of our nurses, not too long after Breelyn came in, after the team worked on her and could not revive her, then went to the closet and took one of these blankets and just wrapped her,” said Ann Roda, who provides mission integration and spiritual care at Adventist HealthCare.

Breelyn died from SIDS back in June while at Little Angels Daycare in College Park, which is no longer on the state’s child care database following accusations they were understaffed.

“It’s really unusual that families come back to us and give us some closure,” said Dr. Linda Nordeman, the medical director for Washington Adventist Hospital.

Fifteen blankets were given to the hospital on Monday, and Breelyn’s family plans to continue to donate.

Porter says she and her husband have to keep going for their three-year-old daughter, Brooklyn.

“If we can make somebody’s worse day just a little bit better, then we have to try,” said Porter.

You can learn more about how to donate a blanket at breelynsblanketbrigade.com.

Fire/EMS Personnel Moved by “Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade”

Thank you Prince George’s County Fire and EMS staff for meeting with us today. Meeting the first responding team touched us beyond words. Really- meeting the men that first tried to save our daughter had us all in tears. Thank you for the work that you do. It matters.

http://pgfdpio.blogspot.com/2017/02/fireems-personnel-moved-by-breelyns.html

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2017

Fire/EMS Personnel Moved by “Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade”

MEDIA CONTACT: Mark E. Brady, Chief Spokesperson, 240-508-7930

MEBrady@co.pg.md.us @PGFDPIO
An emotional and uplifting event this morning at the Emergency Department of Washington Adventist Hospital in Takoma Park provided an opportunity for a family to meet and thank firefighter/medics and hospital staff for their efforts in attempting to save the life of their infant daughter.

On June 17, 2016 firefighters from the Branchville Volunteer Fire Company, medics from the College Park Fire/EMS Station and an EMS supervisor were dispatched to a home in College Park for a 911 report of an infant that had stopped breathing. Fire/EMS units quickly arrived and initiated CPR and transported the infant to Washington Adventist Hospital where despite the very best of treatment by all involved was pronounced deceased. This tragic death was sudden and unexpected.

Sunday, February 19, 2017 would have been Breelyn Porters 1st Birthday and today first responders and hospital staff were called together by the her family. Summer Porter, Breelyn’s mom, and family met and thanked everyone involved in efforts to save Breelyn’s life. The Porter family presented each person with a homemade blanket which carries a very important and impactful meaning to the family. The Porter family felt their grieving process was helped by seeing their daughter wrapped in a homemade blanket when she passed away.

The homemade blanket meant so much to them that the Porter family started Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade. This brigade is an effort to provide homemade blankets to all area hospitals and perhaps help others in these circumstances. On a website promoting the effort, Summer Porter stated, “We want to give that moment of love to other families who have lost their children. Making an entire blanket is a daunting task and 5″ x 5″ squares are much easier to commit to. I’m twelve squares in and I only learned to crochet a month ago. Anyone can learn- my first grade niece is a pro! I encourage you to try making some squares. Crochet, knit, quilt- whatever works for you! Goal is approximately 30″ x 40″ blankets (48 – 5″ squares). Gender neutral colors are probably best – green, yellow, purple, etc. Make a blanket or make a square – let’s show others that we care. Join Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade today!”

The Branchville Volunteer Fire Company and Rescue Squad, Inc. and the Prince George’s County Fire/EMS Department strongly encourage everyone to help in whatever way possible to Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade. For additional information on how you can help go the this website and Facebook page:

Breelyns Blanket Brigade

Breelyns Blanket Brigade Facebook Page

Fire/EMS Personnel on the call included:

Branchville Engine 811

Richard Leizear

Ronald Leizear

Orville Saunders

Dafonso Davage, Jr

Medic 812 – College Park

Brian Goldfeder

Haywood Kelly

EMS Duty Officer

Dale Giampetroni

The First Blanket Donation- Hospital

And so we awoke, the day after Breelyn’s first birthday. Today was the day that we would make our first donation. Today was the day that we’d return to the hospital where our child was pronounced dead. We’d walk through the E.R. doors. We’d meet the people that worked so hard to save our child.

This was a family affair for us- including grandparents and my aunt and uncle. We needed to be together to get through this. And so we arrived. And so did everyone else. I’d expected to meet a couple of medical staff members who’d worked with Breelyn. I wasn’t prepared for all of the first responders. I can’t remember the exact number but 8-10 men in their uniforms arrived. They were the men who’d first cared for Breelyn- who’d diligently performed CPR, who fought so hard to save my baby. I was moved.

And then there was the medical team. I saw the doctor who told me that Breelyn had died. I wasn’t sure that I would remember anyone from that day but I remembered her. I remembered the hurt that she had in her eyes when she told me that it looked like Breelyn had taken a nap and not woken up. And the hurt was still in her eyes when we exchanged a hug.

And I met nurses who had helped Breelyn. One had covered Breelyn in the handmade blanket. He gave me a card that the staff had prepared in honor of Breelyn’s birthday. I didn’t know what sort of card one could ever provide to celebrate the birthday that wasn’t but it was perfect. The front of the card says “You outshine every candle on your cake.” Inside “Happy Birthday to a brilliant beacon of God’s love.” There’s a verse printed- “…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven. Matthew 5:16”. And then everyone has signed it with messages of happy birthday to a beautiful angel, thinking of you, praying for you, etc. I’m moved.

I’m not a lover of the spotlight but I have a message- a purpose and so I try to get it out there. This meant that the media was also there for the donation. It wasn’t easy, I wasn’t eloquent, and I didn’t sugar coat. I was honest. This was hard- our baby had died and we struggle. BUT, how these men and women had handled the day that Breelyn died, had made a difference- it was why we were here. Their decision to cover our child in a blanket had influenced me to learn to crochet and then to invite others to do the same. And a ripple effect continued. The original person crocheted the blanket, the medical team covered Breelyn, I was moved and made blankets and invited others to do the same, those others invited others, who invited others… and in five short months, we’ve created 100 blankets. That represents 100 families who will know that they aren’t alone.

There isn’t a happily ever after to this story. These dear babies and small children will still die. But our blanket represented our baby not being alone. It helped me feel that others saw her as a baby. That she was cared for and loved. And so, we make/collect/distribute blankets. We pray for the receivers and for the medical teams and first responders. We ache for the loss that they will endure. And we pray that they will all endure- that they will be able to go on to help others. We’re not perfect and this still stinks, but the blanket made a difference to us, so we have to try to make a difference for others.

The First Blanket Donation- Dedication

Last night we gathered for a family dinner to remember Breelyn. It was her birthday and we knew it. My mom made sandwiches and cookies in the shape of butterflies which is our “thing” for Breelyn. I think that we were all just trying to keep it together so we actually didn’t mention Breelyn. We were just together. Until the end of dinner, when I said that we had one more thing- we wanted to dedicate the blankets that would be donated.

And so the blankets were stacked up, all 100 of them. We gathered around and discussed our hopes for these blankets- that the receivers would feel loved, that their worst moment would be just a bit better. When my mom puts the “Made With Love By Breelyn’s Blanket Brigade” tags on, she prays for the parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We’ve lived this and so we prayed for the others that would live this- that they would find the strength to press on.

Breelyn’s Birthday

On 2/19/17, Breelyn would have turned one. We would have had a party. She would have squished some cake. She would be standing, walking while holding onto things, saying mama and dada, and laughing. She’d be grabbing her sister’s toys and smiling at her sister’s antics. But none of those things happened. Instead, we visited her grave.

What do you do on the birthday that wasn’t? For me, I had two goals. One was to make a blanket donation in honor of the Breelyn and the blanket that she was covered with at the E.R. My goal was 30 blankets and we received 100. Thank you to everyone- you are amazing! My second goal was to complete teddy bears made of clothing that Breelyn had worn. I finished bears for myself, my spouse, our toddler, and both sets of grandparents. I have plans to make more bears for my sisters and sister in law but didn’t make the February deadline. The bears make me smile. I love that I have memories and photos of my daughter wearing the fabrics. I love that the red and white polka-dot was worn by my toddler for her first haircut and by her baby sister. I love that these bears tell a story. I’m lucky to have siblings that have older children- it has meant that most of the fabrics in these bears were first worn by my nephews, nieces, and toddler- I love that. I love that the bears are made up of all of these different pieces. The toddler’s bear is made of dotted fabric and she calls it “Dotsy”.